This eight-step program invites you to give up problem-solving and move directly to a warmer, more loving and fun relationship, based on universal spiritual principles.
Why Talking Is Not Enough: 8 Loving Actions That Will Transform Your Marriage by Susan Page is one of those books that flies against the conventional advice that’s often given when it comes to marriage counseling. But after you get over the “but that can’t be right” feeling, there’s a lot to be said for her approach.
Most people probably would think this is either impossible or terribly unfair. But Susan Page argues that if you’re unhappy or not getting what you want out of your marriage, you have a whole lot more power to make your marriage better than you ever imagined. In fact, she makes it clear that feeling that power, that sense of control over the emotional quality of your marriage, MORE than makes up for any feeling of how “unfair” it all is that you’re the one who’s orchestrating the changes.
The book is EMPOWERING because it puts the tools for change in your hands – you do not have to wait until your partner changes for your relationship to get better! Susan’s book is innovative in the following ways: 1) She suggests that communication is NOT the most important relationship skill. Far more important is the ability to take loving actions.
What separate couples who thrive in a relationship from those that don’t?
It’s not excellent communication skills or a happy childhood, a stable home environment in childhood is being on the same team and being open to seeing beyond appearance and actions and words.
Instead of focusing on what is wrong and what needs to change in your spouse or your relationship, you focus on changing yourself and growing spiritually.
• Adopt a Spirit of Good Will
• Give Up Problem Solving
• Act as If
• Practice Restraint
• Balance Giving and Taking
• Act on Your Own
• Practice Acceptance
• Practice Compassion
the concept of marriage as a Spiritual Partnership, which Ms. Page
introduces to us in the first chapter. For some people, mentioning the word “spiritual” may be a turnoff. But she provides a wonderful definition of spirituality that I think most of us can relate to and agree with. She defines a spiritual person as someone who is moving in the following direction:
• From isolation to connection, this includes a connection with other people, living creatures and the natural environment.
• From your conditioned personality to your authentic self
from the persons we have become with all of our conditioned attitudes and behaviors to who we truly are and aspire
• From fear to love
from fearfulness to recognizing how fear stops us and then progressing
through it so that we can love more freely.
• From sleep to consciousness or awareness
becoming aware of our own areas of blindness and limited or inaccurate vision.
• From control to surrender
learning to give up control and being open and receptive to what the universe offers us.
• From restlessness to inner peace
as we become more connected, authentic, loving, aware and receptive, we will experience
deep inner strength, radiant joy, and peace.