Music can be wonderful healer of your grieving hart.
But only if you know these three fact about it:
Sad music help you to feel the sadness instead of suppressing it
At first it feels like you just can get enough of sad songs. It feels nobody understand the depth of despair that you are in except the writer of the song,
that you are listening over and over again.
The problem is that after a while, the only relive that you get is from the exhaustion after hours of crying.
You don’t feel better. The tears keep coming. The sadness is still there.
Listening to the music suddenly doesn’t sound as such a good advice.
Sad music keep you in sadness
The reason for these is that even though sad music help you to feel the sadness it also keep you in sad feelings.
fiery heartbreak songs help you to release anger
Heartbreak doesn’t mean just sadness. You are also angry at your ex. Even feeling of rage when breakup happen after being cheated on can overflow your body.
Resentment, bitterns about being alone and unloved can surface. All these feelings are also part of breakup and need to be felt and angry songs are the best way
to help you with feeling them.
Healing ends with songs of empowerment, resilience and finding deeper love
When you truly feel all your emotions from sadness and anger to resentment and bitterns, you will feel empties inside you.
That is the time to fill this emptiness with feeling of empowerment. The songs about overcoming loss and becoming stronger.
Songs about feeling love more deeply. Songs about being able to survive the pain and being able to love more deeply because of it.
Now is the time to find acceptance of loss and can move on.
How to find perfect songs for healing?
You could find plenty suggestions on internet. But do not follow them blindly.
Because your healing playlist is less about sad or angry piece of music, and more about your experience of music that you choose. Too often, well-meaning people “prescribe” a particular piece of music without realizing they are trying to impose their own style and preference on another person.
Because we all have different musical tastes, even the research shows it’s best if you choose your own songs for the playlist. I checked a few playlist crafted specifically for dealing with sadness leading to empowerment and usually between 50 songs I could find only one that worked for me. My advice would be to check other people list for ideas, but let the song evoke feelings inside you. If the song evoke sadness or deepen it, put it onto your sad list, if it evoke anger put it on your angry list and if it’s empower you, move it to your last list.
First create just sad and angry list. Only when you will be ready to move on start looking for the songs on the empowerment playlist.