Are you tired of constantly pulling yourself out of depression?
Then an hour later you are back in the depressed mood.
Do you envy people (or can’t stand them) who are constantly cheerful and full of curiosity, excitement, and energy?
You are working so hard every day to find a little joy, and they look like they have been born with unlimited resources of optimism?
What do they have that you are lacking?
Five major difference between an alive and depressed person in relationship
– Their brain is wired differently than yours.
– Their mind works in sync with their heart.
– They spend a lot of time and enthusiasm to become their true self instead of trying to make their spouse happy.
– They healed (at least to some degree) emotional wounds from childhood.
– They ask questions instead of just believing thoughts that appear in their mind (they too have depressing thoughts, they just don’t take them so seriously)
The biggest issue with depression is everything is overwhelming. That’s why it helps if you deal with it in small steps with many short but different ways.
Is your brain wired for depression or joy?
Did you know that the brain of a depressed person is wired for depression, while the brain of a cheerful, content person is wired for joy?
While the brain of depressed person scan surrounding for negativity, the brain of content person scan surrounding for positivity?
Why not rewire your brain instead of constantly trying to pull yourself out of despair, apathy, and hopelessness?
It takes 31 days for your brain to start to rewire and change the chemistry of your body. Instead of releasing hormones that cause melancholy, your body will start producing
happy hormones (oxytocin, dopamine…) without you needing to do anything.
Here are 5 simple ways to rewire your brain instead of just cope with depression:
– watch 1-minute laughing videos (preferably kids)
– listen to Guided Imagery
– sunshine (without wearing glasses)
– Act as if – pretend that you are in good moods for 1 minute
– 5-minute aerobic exercise – Moving your body
– read jokes (they stop the process of wiring your brain for depression)
– ask open questions (I wonder what kind of positive surprise will happen today? I wonder what small thing I could do differently today?)
Guided imagery for coping with depression
Guided imagery is a holistic mind-body technique that consists of healing words and hypnotic images, set to soothing music, to help with treating depression naturally.
You could try it HERE.
Imagery is effective because it basically bypasses thinking, judging, analyzing functions of the left brain, delivering healing messages directly to the subconscious mind. Once received, imagery disperses gentle reminders of health, strength, meaning, and hope that affect unconscious assumptions and self-defeating concepts.
According to Belleruth Naparstek, guided imagery is intentional, directed daydreaming, blending one’s imagination with words and phrases that evoke sensory fantasy and memory. Guided imagery creates a deeply receptive mind, body, psyche, and spirit state during which change becomes possible.
My personal experience with using guided imagery (I used some of Beleruth Naparstek guided imagery tapes for a few months) that they are useless if you use them without using other ways that I suggest. I also notice that for me they are too long. I got the best result with short 2-3 minutes guided imagery. In combination with other ways, imagery could be beneficial.
Is your mind in sync with your heart?
The big part of your depression is your thoughts. Hundreds of them, one more depressing than another, spinning in your head. Sometimes the same thoughts about everything that is wrong with you
and the world around you, all the thoughts about despair and sadness. There is no place for curiosity and being alive in your thoughts. Everything is some shade of grey.
Because your mind is disconnected from your heart.
Sometimes is the opposite, you are overwhelmed with emotions, could not think rationally at all.
It’s like two parts of you being separated instead connected, fighting with each other instead of supporting each other.
That’s like being in a relationship and constantly fighting with each other.
How to get your mind and your heart in sync?
When you listen to the wisdom and whispers of your inner voice, the voice of your true self, your heart radiates beautiful energy, called love.
When your inner wisdom guides your mind and uses the energy that your heart radiate, your brain, and your heart work in sync.
Even as little as spending 2 minutes daily on doing Heart-mind coherence exercise can change a lot.
You could find more about heart-mind in sync exercise with audio recording in my email-course
asking open questions that will move you out of depressed mind
( I wonder…, what else is possible, is it true that I am depressed, what is the proof, what is the proof of that and what is the proof of that..)
Sometimes the difference between being depressed or not is in asking questions instead of just believing or ignoring the thoughts that appear in your mind.
Another thing is in my experience when I have thoughts and I try to ignore them, not think them, push them away, they only persist. I sit quietly and write these stressful thoughts on paper and question them with The Work of Byron Katie (the process of 4 loving questions)
As Byron Katie would say
Depression, pain, and fear are gifts that say, “Sweetheart, take a look at your thinking in this moment. You’re living in a story that isn’t true for you.”
For me, release from depression comes from only one thing… letting go.
The four questions of The Work are often helpful for me to find ways for me to let go.
When I was depressed I was very attached to my thoughts. Not just about depression but about everything. Using the work as a way to explore those thoughts and not trying to get rid of depression help with letting go. It helped me to see how many moments were in one hour when I was not depressed.
Being in the depressing mode you feel like you have no control over yourself. But I still could ask questions even when I have no control over what I believe.
It was solid truth that I was depressed. No doubt about that. Asking questions without trying to get rid of those thoughts was something I was capable even when I was depressed.
It was almost like my mind surrender, get caught in the moments when it just went blank. The believes that I saw as solid truth suddenly have the opposite. That was also true sometimes.
Sometimes my depressing story just collapsed before it came back.
But the real value of questioning came not from asking questions as intellectual work. And finding out what is true and what is not.
It’s adding your heart wisdom to it.
Like when you fall in love and you just know. Nothing to think or decide. You just know. That’s the hear speaking. That’s love speaking.
That are the real answers that start to arise after I have listened to my mind and answer every question with my mind. Until I get to run out of questions.
That was the moment when my heart starts sharing real answers.
I am depressed.
Is it true?
Of course and I hate it. As probably you do too.
How do you react when you believe that you are depressed? What happened? How many stressful thoughts do you have?
How heavy they are? How tired you become? OR exhausted.
What are you afraid of would happen if somebody would remove your depression?
Would you anger rage surface? Came to the open. Are you afraid how others would react? How much-suppressed anger is behind your depression?
What are you angry about? How did they treat you, that you are so full of suppressed anger?
that’s where the story of depression really begin to unravel. It’s not just about being depressed. That just the on the surface of your story.
The work of Byron Katie is about exploring the whole story.
Who would you be without that thought that you are depressed? How would you see others? Others that treat you so badly, that cause you to suppress anger to survive.
Who you are angry with? What did they do to you?
Then look at the story from the opposite perspective.
I am not depressed.
Is it also true? That behind the depression there are layers of fear, anger, rage, and despair?
If depression is caused by a traumatic experience in your past, it is wise to combine the work of Byron Katie with any process of releasing trauma.