Relationship communication – put the love into the words
Have you ever felt like communication between two of you is never what would you like it to be? You feel separated from him so many times during your conversation.
You want to connect with him thru the words, you try to express your feelings, emotions, share what you feel and think.
But sometimes you feel like the words have the opposite effect, they build walls instead of bridges between the two of you.
You long for feelings of closeness and belonging but whatever you try, nothing works.
There are so many ways and teaching of how to communicate in a relationship, but most of them a lacking something. What?
They are missing whispers and feelings that make words alive. Would you love to add these missing ingredients with this easy couple exercises for communication?
We are moving into totally new ways of being in the relationship. It’s about the relationship of the hearts.
That’s why now is the time to start using this new amazing couple exercises, that will speak from the heart to the heart.
Just speaking mind to mind is not enough anymore. When we came to love relationship, the heart is the essence and the core that we want to touch.
It is not using the right words; it is about how much love we put into the words that we speak.
We need relationship exercises that could help us to touch the hearts of each other and with that deepen couples communication.
Listen to enthusiasm beyond the words – one of the most powerful couple exercises
Instead of just listening to words and meaning behind, why not seeking the enthusiasm, excitement, feelings beyond the words that your partner is expressing.
I have to admit that I learned that first from my kid.
He is a talker; he could talk for hours literary. I often lose track of what he is talking about.
But at the same time, I am still there with him, noticing his excitement and enthusiasm and wonder about the thing that he is talking about. And I also notice that it is not important to listen with my mind to every detail that he shared, as long as he has my loving attention. My mind gets lost, but my love for him was there.
What would happen if I use the same way of listening with my beloved, I start wondering one day.
So I did. It was interesting to observe, how that kind of listening cause me to feel more close to him. It was almost like my heart gave him my full attention, while my mind wander.
And I never get bored.
How could I get bored looking into his eyes, that were full of wonder, his body language showing that he is fully alive and full of excitement about whatever he was talking about?
What I discovered when I start to listen to his enthusiasm and excitement instead of words.
I was surprised at how much I discover about him and his interest and his passions and his personality.
The nice side effect of this kind of listening was that our conversation never drained me.
It never made me tired even when the conversation turns to the heavy topic (word unsolvable problems, violence, corruption in our system, injustice,..).
I just stop paying attention to his words and start paying attention to him. That’s when I notice his compassion and warm heart that get triggered by injustice, his honesty, and high moral standards. And all the passion when he was talking about his hobbies.
And instead of losing energy, his passion and enthusiasm increase my aliveness. His compassion and warm heart cause me to feel more close and connected to him.
Want a FREE PLAYSHEET as a gentle reminder to play with these communication exercises in your daily life? Right here:
Speak from the heart- another unusual couple exercise to deepen communication
Just sit with the partner without sharing the stories and enjoy the silence, let the heart communicate love to your partner, imagine waves of energy of love spreading from your heart to partner’s heart instead of trying to communicate what you want to share, pay more attention to express love with words than using any communications processes.
How do you speak from the heart?
This couple exercise is one, that we all used with babies, that was one of the earliest ways of communicating.
I still remember how I use to talk to my baby. And I still talk to other babies when I meet them. I totally forget about the meaning of the words. I know that the baby does not understand the words. So it does not matter what I say.
I understand that it is important to talk to a baby so that he could learn words. But the little baby does not need that all the time. He need love most of the time.
Sometimes I think that babies are so cute that even mind could not stay serious and speak properly and I became silly and just pour love to the little one.
It does not matter what I said, it was just a way to express love and tenderness and affection. It does not matter which words do you use exactly when love and tenderness are behind them.
Enjoying the silence before responding
Every time that partner stop talking, be in silence for second before you respond. Between two words there is a small gap where the mind is silent.
When the mind is silent, the heart speaks. Could you imagine how many moments of love we could exchange in conversation on that way?
Not to mention how that could deepen the conversation and the connection between both of you.
Communicate with each other without words
Silence can become heavy because you are not accustomed to it. You don’t know what the music of silence is. You know only one way of communicating and that is verbal, through the mind.
You don’t know how to communicate through the heart, heart to heart, in silence. You don’t know how to communicate by just being there, through your presence.
In the silence between you, nothing is missing; something is being added to you. Become silent and allow that silence to communicate, that could become an amazing couple exercise.
Language is needed to relate to people with whom you have no love relationship. Non-language is needed for people with whom you have a love relationship.
One has to become innocent again like a child, and silent.
Gestures will be there: sometimes you will smile and hold hands, or sometimes you will just remain silent, looking into each other’s eyes – not doing anything, just being. The presences meet and merge, and something happens which only you will know – only you to whom it has happened. No one else will become aware; it happens in such depth.
And the most important part – have fun with these exercises for couple communication.